Islam and the Golden Rule’s Limitations

The golden rule has gained almost universal acceptance among most of the world’s religions and cultures. This rule manifests in three distinct modes: the affirmative, the negatory, [1] and the empathic. In the affirmative stance, one extends to others the treatment they would desire for themselves. Conversely, in the negatory aspect, individuals refrain from subjecting others to actions they would themselves find unfavorable. In its empathic iteration, the golden rule entails wishing for others the same well-being and favorable circumstances one wishes upon oneself.

Nevertheless, the golden rule has not escaped scrutiny from a multitude of thinkers due to its pronounced limitations. This rule fails to acknowledge the inherent divergence in individuals’ adherence to distinct moral frameworks and their possession of disparate predilections and benchmarks for treatment. Consider the scenario wherein certain individuals prefer candid and blunt advice, relish being challenged publicly, entertain the idea of foreign men dating their daughters, derive amusement from playful pranks, welcome “yo momma” jokes, exhibit an acceptance of both offering and accepting bribes, and so forth. However, it is evident that such predilections do not apply universally.

Consequently, we find that individuals’ comfort zones diverge widely. Some willingly accept being deprived of help during moments of distress as long as this relinquishes any concurrent obligation to offer aid to others. Conversely, an opposing group might unnecessarily elevate their moral standards, expecting an unreasonable parallel commitment from others.

While there can be consensus surrounding global moral standards, such as exhibiting courtesy and fulfilling obligations toward one’s acquaintances and kin, disparities arise when it comes to the specific implementations of these norms. Our preferences for certain personal considerations may not invariably align with the preferences of others. Therefore, the reliance solely upon our subjective benchmarks is inadequate, as it cannot be presupposed that everyone will concur with the entirety of our individualized standards.

Some have sought to refine the golden rule, introducing adaptations such as the platinum or copper rule. This evolved version advances the principle that interactions should align with how others desire to be treated rather than based solely on our own preferences. However, this adaptation remains beset with complexities, as the preferences for treatment held by some may stand in contrast to our own ethical principles. For instance, accommodating the wishes of a masochist contradicts the sensibilities of most individuals. Furthermore, this adaptation would compel us to employ the preferred pronouns of individuals identifying as “gender fluid,” even if this contradicts our respective worldviews and what we hold to be their appropriate linguistic application.

Another limitation of the golden rule is its implicit assumption that all individuals merit equitable treatment or possess an inherent entitlement to be treated per their desires. However, the principles outlined in Shariah diverge from this premise, illustrating that parity in treatment does not invariably extend to all. Notably, the Shariah underscores instances where disparate treatment is accorded to Muslims and non-Muslims, evident in the application of dhimmi laws and other civil and criminal tenets inherent to Islamic jurisprudence.

Nevertheless, within Islamic teachings, certain iterations of the golden rule find resonance, as exemplified by the following ahadith:

It was narrated from Abu Hurairah that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: “O Abu Hurairah, be cautious, and you will be the most devoted of people to Allah. Be content, and you will be the most grateful of people to Allah. Love for people what you love for yourself, and you will be a (true) believer. Be a good neighbor to your neighbors, and you will be a (true) Muslim. And laugh little, for laughing a lot deadens the heart.” [Ibn Majah; the hadith is weak.]

It has been reported on the authority of Abu Dharr that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:

Abu Dharr, I find that thou art weak and I like for thee what I like for myself. Do not rule over (even) two persons and do not manage the property of an orphan. [Saheeh Muslim]

It has been narrated on the authority of ‘Abd al-Rahman b. Abd Rabb al-Ka’ba who said: Whoever wishes to be delivered from the fire and enter the garden should die with faith in Allah and the Last Day and should treat the people as he wishes to be treated by them. [Saheeh Muslim]

It is narrated on the authority of Anas b. Malik that the Prophet (may peace and blessings be upon him) observed: “None amongst you believes (truly) until he loves for his brother” - or he said “for his neighbour” - “that which he loves for himself.” [Saheeh Muslim]

The last hadith is a popular one, yet there exists another significant variant of this hadeeth that introduces a crucial qualifier at the end:

It was narrated from Anas that: The Messenger of Allah [SAW] said: “By the One in Whose hand is the soul of Muhammad, none of you has believed until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself of goodness.” [Sunan an-Nasai; the hadeeth is Saheeh.]

Including the qualifier “of goodness” elucidates that what we must love for our brother must pertain to that which is virtuous.[2] In this context, goodness encompasses deeds of obedience and permissible actions from both the dunya and the hereafter. [3]

In summation, the golden rule is undoubtedly a beneficial moral principle to abide by and is aptly applicable to most situations involving courteous conduct and benevolent interactions with others. However, it is vital to recognize its inherent constraints and to ensure that its application remains governed by the parameters sanctioned by Islam.

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[1] It is sometimes known as the silver rule.

[2] Shaykh Abdul Mohsin al-‘Abbad clarifies in his Sharh al-Arba’een an-Nawawiyyah that goodness is a qualifier and that this can either be goodness in the dunya or afterlife:

زيادة: (من الخير) زيادة تفسيرية

السؤال
على ماذا تحمل الزيادة في الحديث: (لا يؤمن أحدكم حتى يحب لأخيه ما يحب لنفسه من الخير)؟

الجواب
هذه الزيادة -كما هو معلوم- زيادة تفسير وتوضيح؛ لأن المحبة إنما تكون في الخير، وهو خير الدنيا وخير الآخرة، أي: عموم الخير، سواء كان خيرًا دنيويًا أو أخرويًا، فكلمة (من الخير) تبين أن المحبوبات إنما هي في الخير.

[3]  Imam an-Nawawi states:

وَالْمُرَادُ يُحِبَّ لِأَخِيهِ مِنَ الطَّاعَاتِ وَالْأَشْيَاءِ الْمُبَاحَاتِ وَيَدُلُّ عَلَيْهِ مَا جَاءَ فِي رِوَايَةِ النَّسَائِيِّ فِي هَذَا الْحَدِيثِ حَتَّى يُحِبَّ لِأَخِيهِ مِنَ الْخَيْرِ)

Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani says:

وَالْخَيْر كَلِمَةٌ جَامِعَةٌ تَعُمُّ الطَّاعَاتِ وَالْمُبَاحَاتِ الدُّنْيَوِيَّةَ وَالْأُخْرَوِيَّةَ وَتُخْرِجُ الْمَنْهِيَّاتِ لِأَنَّ اسْمَ الْخَيْرِ لَا يَتَنَاوَلُهَا وَالْمَحَبَّةُ إِرَادَةُ مَا يَعْتَقِدُهُ خَيْرًا قَالَ النَّوَوِيُّ الْمَحَبَّةُ الْمَيْلُ إِلَى مَا يُوَافِقُ الْمُحِبَّ وَقَدْ تَكُونُ بِحَوَاسِّهِ كَحُسْنِ الصُّورَةِ أَوْ بِفِعْلِهِ إِمَّا لِذَاتِهِ كَالْفَضْلِ وَالْكَمَالِ وَإِمَّا لِإِحْسَانِهِ كَجَلْبِ نَفْعٍ أَو دفع ضَرَر انْتهى مُلَخصا وَالْمرَاد بالميل هُنَا الِاخْتِيَارِيِّ دُونَ الطَّبِيعِيِّ وَالْقَسْرِيِّ وَالْمُرَادُ أَيْضًا أَنْ يُحِبَّ أَنْ يَحْصُلَ لِأَخِيهِ نَظِيرُ مَا يَحْصُلُ لَهُ لَا عَيْنَهُ سَوَاءٌ كَانَ فِي الْأُمُورِ الْمَحْسُوسَةِ أَوِ الْمَعْنَوِيَّةِ وَلَيْسَ الْمُرَادُ أَنْ يَحْصُلَ لِأَخِيهِ مَا حَصَلَ لَهُ لَا مَعَ سَلْبِهِ عَنْهُ وَلَا مَعَ بَقَائِهِ بِعَيْنِهِ لَهُ إِذْ قِيَامُ الْجَوْهَرِ أَوِ الْعَرَضِ بِمَحَلَّيْنِ مُحَالٌ وَقَالَ أَبُو الزِّنَادِ بْنُ سِرَاجٍ ظَاهِرُ هَذَا الْحَدِيثِ طَلَبُ الْمُسَاوَاةِ وَحَقِيقَتُهُ تَسْتَلْزِمُ التَّفْضِيلَ لِأَنَّ كُلَّ أَحَدٍ يُحِبُّ أَنْ يَكُونَ أَفْضَلَ مِنْ غَيْرِهِ فَإِذَا أَحَبَّ لِأَخِيهِ مِثْلَهُ فَقَدْ دَخَلَ فِي جُمْلَةِ الْمَفْضُولِينَ قُلْتُ أَقَرَّ الْقَاضِي عِيَاضٌ هَذَا وَفِيهِ نَظَرٌ إِذِ الْمُرَادُ الزَّجْرُ عَنْ هَذِهِ الْإِرَادَةِ لِأَنَّ الْمَقْصُودَ الْحَثُّ عَلَى التَّوَاضُعِ فَلَا يُحِبُّ أَنْ يَكُونَ أَفْضَلَ مِنْ غَيْرِهِ فَهُوَ مُسْتَلْزِمٌ لِلْمُسَاوَاةِ وَيُسْتَفَادُ ذَلِكَ مِنْ قَوْلِهِ تَعَالَى تِلْكَ الدَّارُ الْآخِرَةُ تجعلها لِلَّذِينَ لَا يُرِيدُونَ عُلُوًّا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَلَا فَسَادًا وَلَا يَتِمُّ ذَلِكَ إِلَّا بِتَرْكِ الْحَسَدِ وَالْغِلِّ وَالْحِقْدِ وَالْغِشِّ وَكُلُّهَا خِصَالٌ مَذْمُومَةٌ فَائِدَةٌ قَالَ الْكِرْمَانِيُّ وَمِنَ الْإِيمَانِ أَيْضًا أَنْ يُبْغِضَ لِأَخِيهِ مَا يُبْغِضُ لِنَفْسِهِ مِنَ الشَّرِّ وَلَمْ يَذْكُرْهُ لِأَنَّ حُبَّ الشَّيْءِ مُسْتَلْزِمٌ لِبُغْضِ نَقِيضِهِ فَتَرَكَ التَّنْصِيص عَلَيْهِ اكْتِفَاء وَالله أعلم