The Immorality of Cohabitation
“Given the evidence referred to in this chapter, cohabitation endangers the well-being of those who engage in it. Cohabitation is not in reality a good alternative for marriage. Cohabiting couples, on average, have more infidelity, violence, and breaking up than married couples. Cohabitation as a preparation for marriage also fails to deliver on the promise of lower rates of divorce and more satisfying marriages. Living together before marriage does not in fact lower a person’s likelihood of divorce but rather increases it. Couples that cohabit before marriage report lower relationship satisfaction, more infidelity, and more negative styles of communication. Moreover, cohabitation is particularly detrimental to women looking to marry who are put at a disadvantage in comparison to men should the relationship not end in marriage (the most common result) and both parties seek newer partners to marry.
How does this relate to morality? It is prima facie wrong to substantially risk lowering human well-being (the endangerment principle). If the research I’ve cited in this article is correct, cohabitation (both as an alternative to marriage and as a preparation for marriage) substantially risks human well-being. Cohabitation as an alternative to marriage is a form of living more likely to result in relationship dissolution, physical violence, drug abuse, and abuse of children. Cohabitation as a preparation for marriage is more likely to lead to divorce, negative styles of taking, infidelity in the wife, lack of commitment in the husband, and a lower-quality marital relationship. Moreover, this form of cohabitation is particularly detrimental to women who typically lose in the course of cohabitation more of what most men particularly care about in a potential marriage partner, leaving women at a disadvantage (in comparison to their male cohabitors) in the marriage market. If the empirical evidence cited in this chapter and the endangerment principle are correct, cohabitation is prima facie wrong.”
- Christopher Kaczor, “The Ethics of Cohabitation,” in: 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑃𝑎𝑙𝑔𝑟𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝐻𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑏𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑜𝑓 𝑆𝑒𝑥𝑢𝑎𝑙 𝐸𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑐𝑠, pp. 188-189